s-hive

Turning Worst

2010-02-23T10:14:00.002+08:00

Ahh.. I'm super bored, please assign me with something to work on..

Today is another day, the same as the past few weeks.. But the few days is not too bad, as although nothing much to do, there is still something little here and there.. But today is the worst, though my supervisor is here, but up til now since 8.30am, I still have nothing, not even a tiny bit thing to do..

Some of my friends say it's kinda cool, don't have to work too hard, main job is to sit around and then get paid.. But I 'm not this kinda person la, I need to do stuff, I'll go crazy sooner or later just sit around like that.. My mom always say that I should be initiative, ask them is there anything I can do.. I did ask, but they really got nothing for me.. I am not sure why in the first place the company wanna hire new staff, I mean, are they too rich or something?

OWH, please call and save me..

What Am I Doing?

2010-02-22T19:59:00.000+08:00

Sitting there early in the morning
Looking around all over me
Everybody is occupied with something
Except the blur old me

Half a day I am there
Thinking of when I am assign something
Another half of the day went by
And I am still there wondering

That's when a day's up
And I still did nothing much
My heart is calling out
Please help me..

Wow, can I call this a poem? Haha.. Anyway, this is what I'm going through right now.. OWH, please please get back to me by tomorrow.. If not I'll just have to think of plan B..

How Am I to Begin

2010-02-19T08:48:00.000+08:00

Clueless..

I think I have stop blogging so long that now I'm not sure where am I to begin with.. Should I start with life or work? Or some other stuff? Please give me a topic to start off..

Life..

Hmm.. Seriously there's nothing much about this area.. Life just go on, outta my control, most of it.. The new and only thing is that now that I'm done with my second chapter of life, which is studying, which took 15 years, gosh, it's time to move on to a new chapter. Although the new chapter had already begun from Oct last year, but sad to say, only up til now that I figure out the outline of the contents that I want to include and put in this chapter. Can I delete the past few months which I really have no idea what I am doing and start my chapter brand new? Please give me a chance.

Must be wondering what the first chapter is huh, hang on ppl..

Chapter 3: Stepping into the 'adult' zone- The Beginning of Earning a Living..

Now i believe that it is true.. During school days, I've always wanted to start working, to say farewell to the mountains of assignments and exams that seems never ending.. Now that I start my working life, I really miss those schooling days that I do not have to worry about $ and commitments like car payment, phone/internet bills etc..

Not to mention, fellow school/uni mates are better to be with rather than fellow colleagues/clients.. How so? Well, with mates, you can be your true self, fooling around and have fun, what a simple and relaxing life.. With colleagues or clients, you need to be more protective of yourself, putting on your armor and shield.. Can't get too personal, can't be to cool.. No idea who you could trust, as I believe we all know, working circle is very complicated, and human beings are complicated species.. What I can come off is, working life and environment is unpredictable..

I'm not saying that you can't find true friends among your colleagues, or you need to put on a mask during work. I believe that as long as you put your whole heart and mind in it, you will be good.. However, for me, I will take things slow and put on my protective gear in order not to get hurt too much..

Anyway, I'm getting outta topic.. For this chapter, I have set my outline, what I want to do/venture into, what I want to achieve, all my goals and plan for, hmm, the coming let's say 5 years.. Although I can't control anything that comes by during these 5 years, as what the Chinese say, 'plan could not catch up with the changes', but by setting up a plan, there's a guide for me to follow and target for me to achieve..

Back to the chapters of my life.. The previous are as follows:
Chapter 1: Fr Baby to Toddler- The Fun & Worry Free Days
Chapter 2: The Long Learning Process- Growing Up

Love..

A blank page right now.. Still thinking and missing him.. Though the time we spend together as special friends was short, but all of it was sweet and never fails to put a smile on my face..

Work..

Pending.. Will update soon..

CNY..

The most boring one ever in my 21 years.. Ate a lot though, so must start to control my diet..

Wow, what a long piece.. Haha..

The End of In ClassTraining..

2009-10-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

Finally.. Last day of training, ok la, more precisely, in-class training.. So fast, feel like I just started yesterday.. But anyhow, am looking forward to the next stage- on-the-job training for 5 weeks.. Although sounds like kinda long but, well, time flies right.. Hehe..

Today went double jack with a senior, was totally stunned when I see her handle the case.. So fluent, so smooth and so easy.. I am like, wat man, how am I gonna do that?? Totally freaked out..
Excited yet nervous, haih..

Today's a relaxing day, once and only I guess.. Role play in the morning, then go for lunch together to celebrate out so call graduation.. Went Sri Melaka, quite nice but regretted, should have tried the mutton rendang.. Then went back office for dessert, a chocolate cake our trainer baked especially for us, yummy.. Then seniors joined us for a game session and finally, mini graduation session with our manager and trainers..

I feel so tired and lazy now, dun feel like doing anything, even dragged myself outta my bed to online, haha..

Well, all in all a great and memorable day.. Fish tank, here I come..

Worn Out Yet Satisfied

2009-10-13T21:20:00.000+08:00

Wow.. Thought wanna blog like 1 week ago but only got the time now.. Am I really so busy? Haha.. The past week basically can be described as excited, fun yet with butterflies dancing in my stomach all the time.. O ya, wrote the blog yesterday but the stupid connection problem, and could not save, which means that I have to rewrite, ish.. So irritated.. Anyway, here goes..

Just started my new official job in Vads under M1.. All I can say is only wow.. A whole new experience and a whole new world.. Was very nervous for my job yet happy for the new beginning, so contradicting huh.. Almost ran late on my first day caused by my way terrible sense of direction but thank God I managed to reach in time and all.. The first day was pretty cool, got along well with my fellow batch mates and trainers..

The rest of the week zoomed by so fast.. It's really fun and interesting to learn new stuff, though some are quite dry making me sleepy.. On Friday, the tiredness from the week finally sank in, seriously, never been so tired for ages ady.. So hard to bring myself to work.. Haha..

Guess only now I can feel how tired working can be.. This I don't really mind but the one sad thing is, no time for myself.. Imagine after work, reached home then shower and eat, by that time it's ady around 7.40 to 8pm.. Then revised the day's lesson for about 1 hour, facebook plus read my novel and all, it's 10.30pm and time for bed.. Can't even watch tv.. Crazy la.. And by the time the end of the week comes, I am so worn out that I spend most of the time snoozing.. Life o life.. Nvm la, at least the job is satisfying, for now anyway,haha..

Just an update bout the job, now I'm undergoing my 3 weeks training with 4 assessments, actually 2 of them ady down, so 2 more to go, hooray.. And after that, will go through 5 weeks of on the job training (fish tank) then ta da, officially working ady.. Can't wait man, counting the days..

Up til today it's 1 and a half weeks ady, can't believe man, so fast.. Hope to pasa all the assessments and be a good employee.. Tat's the target now.. Hehe.. Will try to post some of our pics soon..

Gtg, need to rest early today, can snooze any second man!

Starting Over

2009-09-30T16:55:00.001+08:00

So long din blog ady.. Guess I'm too happy and relieve as everything has come to an end, studies, fyp, finals.. Though I'm happy and excited and all but after a while, it feels kinda weird..

Now that the excitement cool down, suddenly fear and anxiety filled up the space.. Fear of dunno what to do next, where to head, lost of direction.. So yeah, finish studies for now, but I keep asking myself, what's next? A job, yes, but what kinda job? What do I really want to be? Feel so lost and the future is kinda blur.. Worried, yes, but I believe He will provide and He already has his plans for me, timing and faith is the key.. Need to pray for strength.. ^^

So what's with starting over? Well, basically working life will be totally another world, so everything needs to start from scratch again.. Ahh.. Hate to start everything again.. Maybe I'm too comfortable in my zone that I dun wanna change.. Is that normal? Well, working on it, hard..

Though not really sure what direction I wanna head, but went for a few interviews in the last 2 weeks.. Well, most of them went smoothly, just that I am now struggling to decide on going for one or keep looking.. Maybe I should just stick to one first for now.. Tired of searching for the moment.. Still young and it's better to grab the experience first rite? Well, will update this matter soon..

Relationship area.. Been trying to run away and ignore it for a long while but I am proud to say that I have just dealt with it, which actually prompts me to write up on it.. Although I have decided to let go, but actually doing it is another matter you see.. But today, with the grace and love from God, I am actually free from it.. Total set free.. Not a tiny bit of unwanted feelings leftover.. Thank God.. How do I feel? Freedom and joy.. Guess I will stay away from love zone for a while, miss myself.. Hehe.. But a reminder to myself and all out there, Do not rush into it!

P.S. Miss my gang.. Campus Memories.. FYP Gang

The Gang

Finally, but why can't I see the light yet?

2009-09-01T00:43:00.001+08:00

Finally, final year project completed.. Ok, maybe not totally, still have to edit a little to create the hard bound copies, but 90 percent done, now just waiting to collect it back and add some final touches.. Hooray! Btw, the final sem is coming to an end, only one more cls to go, suddenly felt that everything in this sem passes so fast, wonder is it a good thing or the opposite.. After this wed, only have to worry bout the finals and hard bound and puff, complete my studies (not official yet as the convo is next March).. Working life however, is not easy.. A big part is due to interest I guess, I'm trying my best to work on it.. I hope so anyway.. Better not talk too much bout it now.. Just in case..

What I did during this holidays? Hmm.. Well, I watched a couple of movies or so, (Up, The Proposal, GI Joe, Aliens in the Attic, Orphan) and finished a novel (My Sister's Keeper).. O ya, I went back to AS for 2 days, main purpose is to setttle some documents, didn't do much besides that except some stuff I regret after doing.. Anyway, I hate regrets.. What I hate about it is I did some stuff I promised I'll not repeat.. I hate myself.. Why can't I stand firm, I always melt when facing the issue.. This time, I've decided to seriously put a stop to it, I can't go on any longer.. I'll break.. I do not want to go through it every once in a while.. I want it to STOP! Yes I Will. I will be torn and broken, but it's better now than later right.. Gambateh!

Ooh, tomorrow got a class party, kinda like a graduation party in Tony's house.. Should be a blast.. It's kinda like a pot bless, am bringing curry chicken.. But the most important thing is, hopefully I don't get lost on the way there.. Hehe.. Well, all the best to us..^^

New Lappy

2009-07-16T21:09:00.000+08:00

A wish came true, hooray!.. Well, I prayed for a new laptop cause my old one really cacat ady, super slow and always hang, sometimes just cannot off, super irritating.. I think it is time too cause it is bit old ady too.. Haha.. After planning to change a new one for quite some time, getting my sponsors and some negotiations, I finally got a new one today, yeah.. A vaio, in my fav color- my dream one for like dunno how many years ady.. I need to pay a little but I am working hard on the condition so that I dun have to pay anything.. So this is my first post using the new one,hehe.. Of course everything is good with the new one, just one tiny thing, I need to transfer all my important stuff to the new one, lotta work but, no complains..^^

O ya, the other day I went shopping and movie alone, it was actually not lonely at all, it was nice just hanging with myself.. I think spending some time yourself once in a while is really neccessary, just relax and enjoy.. Haha..

Btw, a good news.. I got my first job.. Wee.. Teaching in a private high school.. I was a little nervous at first when I went for the interview but it turned out so well that it amazed me, haha, ptl.. Here's how it went.. It was raining, so to avoid getting my feet wet, I wore sneakers with my formal attire, which made me looked like a clown.. The worst thing besides the rain would be this- no cab after 30 minutes, maybe due to the weather.. And some did not wanna go there.. But thank God, finally I got a cab.. But it did not end here, all the way it was super jam, the only thing I can do was pray.. Finally I reached with 10 more minutes to spare, thank God.. Butterflies started to dance in my tummy.. The guard there was really friendly, giving me the insturctions I need that I dun have to go hunt around.. But due to some insurance people, I need to wait for bout 20 minutes, which is a good thing too, giving me some time to clam down.. The principle is nice and very friendly, not like the others principle I've seen in the past.. After a few questions, she asked me when can I start, August? I was stilll in a blur and then she continued saying that there's a teacher leaving soon- next week, so is it possible for me to start next week? I was like, stunned, haha.. Then I blurly replied yeah, no problem, but I have to go for my classes 3 days in a week.. Guess what's the reply? Sure, no problem.. After that, she handed me over to the English department and I really thank God, both the teachers are so friendly and all, briefing me about all i need to know and giving me some reference books that I could take home to have a look before I start.. But I think the most important thing is, they are willing to teach and guide me.. So basically all went well, and I'm starting on Monday.. Starting to feel the anxiousness now actually, dunno what should I do for my first class yet.. Only 3 more days for me to think.. So all in all, I'll be starting my working life soon, and I need to wake up at 5.15am.. Hopefully I'll not turn into a darker panda that I already am now, haha..

Another thing, went to lunch at a Jap reataurant, buffet, in Shereton.. It was quite dissapointing as the variety was too little and not really good .. Only the salmon was nice, chill and thick.. So yeah, just a little opinion.. ^^

Tired!

2009-07-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

How did it begins? Ah.. Well, mega sale started on sat, so went shopping bright early on sunday at 10am, and guess what, I wasn't the only one with the bright idea of going early to avoid the crowd, lol.. Overall it was a fruitful shopping spree, got most important stuff on my list with a few minor items need to be put on hold as I am outta my budget..^^ Did a bit of sweeping in the evening but finally gave up, haha.. Ate instant noodles for the 3rd day in a row, no more if possible for the coming 2 months.. All was good until I woke up this morning and my whole body ache.. And not sure for what reason today I am super sleepy.. Can sleep anytime anywhere.. But, at least I am done with part 1 of my C3, so wee, very happy.. Hopefully can get everything done by this week.. Early class tomorrow again, dread morning classes.. What to do.. Better go sleep now..

What a day..

2009-07-02T00:28:00.000+08:00

Sometimes things just turn out so differently.. Went to uni this morning happily but after the presenting questions thing during tutorial, my mood took a full 360 degrees turn.. Well, how do u feel when your work all could not be use n got shouted by? Really don't know what he wants, suddenly this suddenly that, how m I gonna cope? So contradicting.. Wat kinda work is this? Anyway, lost my mood and I skip the next class just in case I can't control myself.. Went for lunch in a new Korean place which is, hmm, very disappointing, not good at all.. Well, I just wanna forget everything and start over, hoping this time our questions will be ok.. Need prayer.. Spend 33 bucks on a text, broke now, hopefully it is useful, or else, haha..O ya, the good news is, my prayer was answered, wee.. So my mood was lifted a little..

The rest of the day was ok, did what i planned and a little FYP, hoping I can manage my time better.. Heavenly father, please answer another one prayer of mine..^^ Though it is a want, but now I think it has became a bit of a need as well cause I can save a lotta time waiting for it to settle down, especially during this critical period.. Signing off, hopefully i can have a fruitful day tomorrow, doing what I m suppose to do n not holding up..

A New Beginning

2009-06-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

I think this would be my 3rd blog so far,haha.. Hopefully I wouldn't forget my log in info this time around.. Anyway, after the past few years, I'm trying to start anew, to start from scratch.. Ahh.. I know it wouldn't be easy but I've really made up my mind, to go my own way, I will not turn back.. A new beginning is gonna come soon, in a few months, nervous yet excited of what's coming ahead.. A most important thing in this new journey has already been set out for me- a church, ptl, and I'm really happy bout it.. For the next important step along this journey, I'm worrying bout it but I'll just surrender everything to my heavenly father.. ^^

Do you think it's possible to remove some memories in your head? Maybe just temporarily? I always know letting go would be hard but acheivable, guess I'm wrong, though I'm really determine this time but deep down some part inside I just could not let go, especially the one I'm so use to be with all these while.. Letting go hurts, but that's my only option now.. Guess the only way to heal is as what people always say, time will heal a thousand wounds, though the scar will always be there, but at least it is not visible anymore..

Besides the 1st goal- grow stronger in Him, I think the next one for this new beginning would be to not let history repeat itself, haha, sounds deep right, but seriously, no more.. I would not rush into things, anything, this time and will always seek His guidence and approval 1st.. Be wise.. No more chasing after stuff.. I want my 'd' back..

Well, for now, I just hope I'll survive this final semester, complete everything required and finally freedom.. Lol..

P.S. Stop delaying..